I'm Sorry, I Love You
by xEmbraceAllHappiness
Summary: Puff finally decides to come out, Who to and how is quite the mystery


He took in a deep sigh, body stiff and shaking, the repetitive words 'This is it...' running through his mind. All he had to do was walk out there, call in the victim, and just admit it right there, and then. Sounds easy, right? Dead wrong

It's not like Puff had any ease with telling people what was on his mind on a normal basis, but this was far too different, and so difficult. Sure, he'd been hinting it for ages, but no one took notice, and it's not like anyone would with the circumstances. The straightest boy everyone knew, so suddenly this

But this was it, he'd had spent the last year in such a depressive state, because this one topic was on his mind. If he didn't get it off his mind, off his chest, out of his agenda, he'd finally feel free. Though he knew not everything would go well with it, he still wanted to try.

With the last deep sigh he gripped onto the side of his red hoodie, a nervous twitch Puff owned, and walked into the lounge, watching his bandmates relaxing. The muscular brunette on the couch, he was known as Axel. As for the completely opposite looking boy across from him, that was DeeJay. But at this second, that's not who Puff cared about, he was after the blond at the counter. The blond who had his phone in his hand, and a steaming mug of tea in the other, 'Typical brit…'

Taking a deep breath, Puff pulled a light, casual smirk, leaning against the wall, "Yo Ben, can you come here for a minute?" He was basically congratulating himself over the fact his voice didn't crack, a mental success for the boy with the always squeaky voice. Benatar looked up, and smiled, walking over so casually - the way the brit always strolled around the house, a sight Puff always had to remind himself to keep from looking at. Why? It was just someone walking.. But the way the blondes skinny and slim body moved was quite the intriguing sight, at least to the newly interested rapper.

"What's up?"

"I just need to talk to you, t'is all" Puff pulled a tight chuckle, before walking back into his room the blond. Now that he was away from the rest, his tight smile wasn't needed anymore, neither was the fake attitude. He looked happy all of a minute ago, to this, where Puff looked so miserable and shy as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. It wasn't the first time Benatar had been pulled away so his friend actually had someone to talk to, instead of leaving everything caught up inside him or on paper, where his privacy would be invaded and turned into some new single. Which was funny, because everyone believed Benatar wrote these songs, but in reality, every heartfelt lyric was by the brunette, curled up on the bed.

"Puff, are you okay, mate?" The brit muttered, accent thick as he rubbed Puff's back lightly, seeing the smaller rest his chin against his knees, pulled up to his chest. All he could reply with was a sigh, 'This was so much easier when I planned it...'

"Is something going on with you and Tig again?" Another headshake, that's all Puff was going to give until that spurt of courage came back. "Forcing you into things again? … Um… Is she cheating on you again?" This had to be the last question Puff wanted to hear about her, his ex-girlfriend of 6 years, of whom he busted laying in bed with another good friend of his. He'd forgiven her over it, accepting the fact that in reality, they weren't even a couple anymore… But to this day are friends, but he just didn't want to hear anything about her at all.  
Choking on his nerves, Puff looked up to the worried blond, and sighed, "Ben… We've been separated for 6 months… We decided it would've been much better if we remained friends…"  
Benatar looked dumbfounded, before rubbing his friends shoulder lightly, "Then… Puff, what's the matter? You know I hate seeing people upset…"

"I… I just…" Grow some balls and tell him "I-I…" Wiping his hand over his eye, he mentally cursed to himself, Now I'm fucking crying… "Well, B-..." The octave his voice hit was not a good one, it made his voice squeak as the rough tone affected his entire throat. He was screwed.

But, as every other ventilation session Benatar and him had, the blonde just smiled, getting up to grab the notebook and pen off Puff's desk, carrying them back over, before sitting in closer to his friend, leaving the items in his lap. The roughly ripped book just laid there in the blushing boys lap, the memories of rough times just laying amongst all the lightly crumpled and torn pages. "You express better in lyrics, just write, okay?" The brit chuckled reassuringly, watching the brunette look up, lightly smiling, before beginning to write. It was a skill Puff had, just to be able to write so fluently, as if the lyrics were ones he's memorized for years. You can always tell how much feelings were put into the songs, even all their unused ones. The emotions Puff showed whilst writing, the emotions within every carefully written page, it makes you wonder how long all these thoughts had been on Puff's mind.

To leave his friend in privacy, Benatar had gotten up, walking over to the band poster Puff had up in his room. It wasn't just any band, it was their band. The band that begun in Middle School, that grew all the way to YouTube's most subscribed. It was all the happiness Puff possessed in his life, sometimes he felt like it was the only.

A fair few minutes later, Puff placed the book and pen on the red blanket, sighing at the emotions he just spilt out. Standing up with the want to get out of the room, curl up and die, he looked to Benatar, mumbling as clearly as he could; "I'm getting a drink"

The second Puff left, the instant Benatar walked towards his friends bed, looking at the page, noticing a few water marks on it, showing Puff hadn't managed to keep his stress-filled tears in.

The lyrics, emotional and heartbreaking, were what kept Benatar staying behind with these things. It's not like anyone in the bus was willing to listen to him vent, but whenever Puff needed help, for some reason the blond always managed to be there.

Maybe he just loved reading the lyrics? Maybe he loved the fact Puff counted on him more than any other? Maybe it was that, the more this happened, he knew Puff accepted him in the household - and that their friendship was slowly budding again. But today's lyrics, were the utmost confusing. It was obvious Puff didn't want Benatar to know something, so he tampered with words and screwed around with meaning.

Though, the second his breath baited and realization hit him, he saw Puff walk in, his cheeks red and body stiff. But sure as hell, Puff relaxed a little at the grin, despite the curiosity it inspired. Benatar knowingly held his hands out invitingly, as Puff felt his eyes swell up again, tears streaking down his face as he walked forward, the keyboardist holding his hands and pulling the upset boy down to sit there, leaning against Benatar's chest. The tears drenched into the dark blue blazer, as the brits well comforting hands rubbed along the boys back. "Sh, I'm so sorry she left you for that reason, Puff… No one should be left for being bisexual… But at least you've moved on, you've seemed so much calmer and less restricted this past half year…"

That was all Puff could take, the remembrance of his girlfriend's half-hearted break up, that's caused the rapper depression for such a long time. But Benatar was right, Puff wasn't restricted, he felt happy and comfortable just around his friends, but more in particular, Benatar. Tonight, he got to say much more than planned, and even if the brit didn't like him back the same way Puff admired him, he'd still accept it- sure it might take a while, but he wanted the embracements he's had from this particular boy ever since he turned 12. But Benatar hasn't said anything on who that person was… Maybe he didn't realize…

Looking out the window, then back to his friend, the blonde let go of a soft chuckle. "Have some sleep, I promise I won't tell the others. Just keep your head high, it deserves to be" The way the brit said it had Puff grinning, not even a sniffle or whimper was sounded around the room. Benatar was able to see right through Puff after comforting the boy the entire night, he just wished he could do that all the time.

Picking up the pen and notebook from the bed, he let the brunette lay down before placing the two items up on the chest of draws. But under half closed eyes and eyelashes, Puff could in fact see Benatar standing there, writing something under the obvious lyrics. Laying there, he waited for Benatar to walk out, before getting up to check. The second he grabbed the book, read down the page, and saw what Benatar wrote, his eyes welled up and a widened grinned spread along his cheeks. It took all his strength to not run after the brit, of which he just heard walk back into the lounge to resume to his tea presumably, and hug him in close.

Under the final line, came the response. That small sorry note, came one in return  
It wasn't wishful thinking, or just trusting the fans, Benatar didn't despise him one bit. And lord was Puff happy,

_I'm sorry, I love you  
I'm sorry, I love you too. xx_

* * *

**More Fluff n shiet **


End file.
